You work out of a Hotel?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
