she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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