Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
