I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
