erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
