Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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