That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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