Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
