her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
