was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
