Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
