my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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