he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
