yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i love accidental penises.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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