is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up