so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?