is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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