Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
