Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Where is the hickey?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
