it hurts more in the daytime
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
