Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
