I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
