What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
