i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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