what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
