My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize