ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
