he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
