Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
