i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."