Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
