he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize