im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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