i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
