i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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