So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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