so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you traded sex for a burrito?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
