I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
