I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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