He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
