so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
