his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
