i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
