he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm too high and old for this...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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