Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
