Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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