I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
