I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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