You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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