I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
