Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
