U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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