OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
