There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
