I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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