I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
