You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
