Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
