Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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