We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
