my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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