He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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