he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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