i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
