I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
