is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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