I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
