I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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