at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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